apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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