I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Randomize
