just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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