I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize