I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize