She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
love makes seman taste better
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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