I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
my liver is dry heaving
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
