fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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