he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I know her cup size but not her name....
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