you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
