whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize