What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
