Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize