Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
