Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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