I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
