she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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