im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
