Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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