so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
