All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
