He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
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you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
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Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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