she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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