i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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