Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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