you would pick up someone in the library
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
