i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Drunk is a universal language darling
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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