I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize