Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
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