airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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