I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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