shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
