Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How does it feel to date your dad?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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