Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
