I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
