You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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