OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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