dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
