Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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