no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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