she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
