I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize