If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
