Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize