She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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