"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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