holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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