I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
