scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
