Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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