HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
