My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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