so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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