i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
