Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
