my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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