I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
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No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
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Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening