I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING THE BAGELS
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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