I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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