1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
