I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize